word =meaning

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

We need… = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now.

Do what you want… = You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk… = I need to complain

Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = …and carpeting, and furniture,
and wallpaper…..

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something
expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today
you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and
find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with
me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and
walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think
this is important.

In response to What’s wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything